These last few weeks have been very hectic. I was a little disappointed because I was supposed to be the Sound Understudy for Fabulous Fable Factory, but Vicky didn't give the permission to Michelle Cohen. Therefore, I didn't have a job on that show, which was a surprise. So, I am now the lighting understudy. I have about 140 hours so far and I'm pretty damn exhausted.
I'm trying to apply for colleges but I haven't finished any of them yet. I'm a little frustrated by AP lit and NEHS, but I'll get over it, i'm sure.
I think I'm going through a time whenever I really just want to be left alone. Hell, I don't know WHAT I want. But I really get pissed off w/ anyone who tries to touch me. I'm just not feeling very lovey-dovey or physical...nor am i really wanting to be around many people. I think something's wrong with my medicines. I've been terribly bitchy and pissy and I would rather be alone than with others. I'm unhappy when I'm with others (and all I think about is being alone) and when I'm alone I can't stop thinking about talking to someone and feeling so lonely. I'm wondering if i need to up my meds or something. I'm glad it's getting colder, but I wish it was somewhere where it could snow.
I haven't had my cell phone for a good minute now, and I think I'm really hating Verizon right now. I know it's bratty of me but I really do just want my damn phone back.
I haven't been working and therefore haven't had a source of income and mama keeps bitching about that and it makes me feel bad to have to ask her for money. I know it's not her responsibility. I'm basically stuck between a rock and a hard place because i only have one or two days every couple of weeks I COULD work, and if i tried to get a job, that wouldn't fly. Who knows. I really don't know what to do.
I feel fat. I feel like I'll never be happy w/ my weight. I don't even wanna go to prom & look liek a hippo.
